How to respond to bumptious legal threats: a case study

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First, the cease-and-desist letter from an attorney for the town of West Orange, NJ:

May 23,2013

VIA E-MAIL ([email protected])
CERTIFIED MAIL, AND FIRST-CLASS MAIL

Mr. Jeff [sic] Freivald
10 Ridgeview Avenue
West Orange, New Jersey 07052

Re: Demand to Cease and Desist From Use of Westorange.info Domain Name

Dear Mr. Freivald:

I am the Township Attorney for the Township of West Orange ("Township"). It has come to our attention that, on or about May 13, 2013, you registered and began to use the domain name "westorange.info" (the "Info Domain"). The Township interprets this action as an effort by you to confuse and conflate the Township's official domain name and Web site with the Info Domain that you maintain.

The use of the Township's name is unauthorized and is likely to cause confustion [sic], mistake or to deceive the public and may be a violation of the Township's federally protected rights. The Info Domain falsely creates the impression that the Township is associated or affiliated with the Info Domain. At a minimum, this action has been taken with constructive knowledge of the Township's name and Web site, and constitutes bad faith use of the Info Domain.

Accordingly, the Township demands that you cease and desist from use, ownership and maintenance of the Info Domain. The Township further demands that, within ten (10) days, the Info Domain be withdrawn from the current registrar, and that you cease all current and future use of the Info Domain, or anything else confusingly similar thereto.

The Township reserves all rights and remedies.

Please be guided accordingly.

Very truly yours,

Richard D. Trenk, Township Attorney

And now, the fun begins. The response:

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Of course, it's not quite as succinct as this classic exchange: