Location: Northern Georgia. I refuse to believe it's in southern Georgia. I bet it's one of them tricks like Eric the Red naming an uninhabitable land, Greenland, or naming your college South Florida even though it's in Tampa and nothing like south Florida besides the drugs and strip clubs.
Least Famous Alum: Melissa Crane. Class of '99. Majored in Sport Management. Ahahahaha, of course she's not famous, she majored in Sport Management! How's that degree working out for ya? Bet you wish you could go back and choose something else, don't you? Does flushing twelve grand down the toilet still keep you up at night? I bet it does since you're now working as a secretary for an auto shop. Oh, sure, it's a decent job and you get along with everyone, but you had such high aspirations in school about becoming an agent. Jerry Maguire came out during your freshman year when you were still undecided on a major and after seeing that film, suddenly everyone, including yourself, wanted to be an agent. It was all the rage. How adorable. Of course, you didn't think that in order to be an agent you'd probably be better off getting a degree in finance or business, but you were too busy slurping vodka out of the navel of your best friend for that to ever register. Well, if you haven't already given up on life, good luck in all your future endeavors, Melissa!
Head Coach: Jeff Monken. He comes from the Paul Johnson School of Don't Give A Shit. The man loves running the ball. The Eagles have only attempted 86 passes this season. So, pay close attention, Gators fans, because you will be looking at Florida's next offensive coordinator this Saturday on the opposing sideline.
Strengths: They effectively use two quarterbacks, but not three. Never three. For the prophecy tells us that three quarterbacks will lead to chaos and is that what we want football to be?
Weaknesses: Not too bright, if ya ask me. They made the mistake of scheduling a bunch of FCS teams, thus costing them a shot at the BCS title. Even worse, they LOST to some of those teams. How embarrassing.
Players to Watch: TEs Cody Rediger and Dylan Turner. On the season they have combined to catch zero passes for zero yards, so amazingly, someone has less productive tight ends than Florida. WOOOOOO, SUCK IT, GEORGIA SOUTHERN!
Fun Fact: If an FCS player tackles you, you become one.
Courtesy of The Unsportsmanlike Gentleman