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Great site http://www.textsfromlastnight.com/recent/1
Posted: Thu Aug 20, 2009 2:46 pm
by G8RKyle
(203): I asked a girl to buy her a drink, she had I have a boyfriend, so I said, well i have a goldfish, she said what? I replied, oh I'm sorry I thought we were talking about shit that doesnt matter.
If I was still single I would use that one.
That is really, really funny.
Great site http://www.textsfromlastnight.com/recent/1
Posted: Thu Aug 20, 2009 9:14 pm
by MinGator
Yeah, I thought that one was a hall of fame line.
Great site http://www.textsfromlastnight.com/recent/1
Posted: Fri Aug 21, 2009 2:57 pm
by G8RKyle
Here are some funny things I got in an email:
- I would like to officially coin the phrase 'catching the swine flu' to be used as a way to make fun of a friend for hooking up with an overweight woman. Example: "Dave caught the swine flu last night."
-You never know when it will strike, but there comes a moment at work when you've made up your mind that you just aren't doing anything productive for the rest of the day.
- "Do not machine wash or tumble dry" means I will never wash this ever.
-When I meet a new girl, I'm terrified of mentioning something she hasn't already told me but that I have learned from some light internet stalking.
-Why is a school zone 20 mph? That seems like the optimal cruising speed for pedophiles...
- As a driver I hate pedestrians, and as a pedestrian I hate drivers, but no matter what the mode of transportation, I always hate cyclists.
-It should probably be called Unplanned Parenthood.
-Even under ideal conditions people have trouble locating their car keys in a pocket, and Pinning the Tail on the Donkey - but I?d bet everyone can find and push the Snooze button from 3 feet away, in about 1.7 seconds, eyes closed, first time every time...
-I wonder if cops ever get pissed off at the fact that everyone they drive behind obeys the speed limit.
Great site http://www.textsfromlastnight.com/recent/1
Posted: Wed Aug 26, 2009 3:28 pm
by G8RKyle
(541): my math teacher staples burger king applications to failed tests
Great site http://www.textsfromlastnight.com/recent/1
Posted: Wed Aug 26, 2009 8:15 pm
by G8rMom7
(541): my math teacher staples burger king applications to failed tests
If that said "English teacher" I would swear that was one of Toothy's students!
Great site http://www.textsfromlastnight.com/recent/1
Posted: Wed Aug 26, 2009 8:37 pm
by Toothy
I read that earlier tonight and laughed.
It would be judged unprofessional conduct by those who presume to judge conduct.
Great site http://www.textsfromlastnight.com/recent/1
Posted: Wed Aug 26, 2009 10:16 pm
by IHateUGAlyDawgs
aren't you tenured?
Great site http://www.textsfromlastnight.com/recent/1
Posted: Wed Aug 26, 2009 10:37 pm
by annarborgator
redacted
Great site http://www.textsfromlastnight.com/recent/1
Posted: Thu Aug 27, 2009 10:14 am
by MinGator
Nice jack.
Great site http://www.textsfromlastnight.com/recent/1
Posted: Thu Aug 27, 2009 6:29 pm
by IHateUGAlyDawgs
LOL...wrong forum, bro.
Great site http://www.textsfromlastnight.com/recent/1
Posted: Thu Sep 03, 2009 10:33 am
by G8RKyle
(662): Definitely just saw the guy I went on a date with Friday night dressed in medeival knight gear on the quad preparing for battle. Oh my God.
(609): i just told my mom tuesday boozeday rhymes so that she can remember not to text or call me on wednesday mornings
(856): youre going to kill that woman one of these days
(973): my math professor just wrote "parallel" on the board, but spelled it "pararrel". guess what country he's from
(248): i'm wearing my white shorts to coax my period out of hiding.
Great site http://www.textsfromlastnight.com/recent/1
Posted: Thu Sep 03, 2009 10:37 am
by urapnes
i love this site.
Great site http://www.textsfromlastnight.com/recent/1
Posted: Thu Sep 03, 2009 11:07 am
by annarborgator
Nice jack.
LOL...wrong forum, bro.
LMAO. When did this place become the Pub?
Great site http://www.textsfromlastnight.com/recent/1
Posted: Thu Sep 03, 2009 11:09 am
by annarborgator
(973): my math professor just wrote "parallel" on the board, but spelled it "pararrel". guess what country he's from
LMMFAO...tsifu
Great site http://www.textsfromlastnight.com/recent/1
Posted: Thu Sep 03, 2009 12:26 pm
by MinGator
LMMFAO
Great site http://www.textsfromlastnight.com/recent/1
Posted: Thu Sep 03, 2009 6:12 pm
by AdGator02
oooohhh... me think Korea.
Great site http://www.textsfromlastnight.com/recent/1
Posted: Fri Sep 04, 2009 8:22 am
by G8rMom7
Hilarious.
Great site http://www.textsfromlastnight.com/recent/1
Posted: Fri Sep 04, 2009 8:25 am
by G8RKyle
Hirarious!
Great site http://www.textsfromlastnight.com/recent/1
Posted: Fri Sep 04, 2009 9:05 am
by G8RKyle
(843): 70 feet underwater and I sharted my wetsuit, Tide pen won't clean this up.
(815): You left a skid on my bar stool!!!!
(847): Oops! Sorry about getting stool on your stool!
(360): The tricky part is not getting sand in any orifices. Or is the plural orifi? Orifi don't, we'll both be unhappy...
(603): she was definitely a virgin. no ones that bad unless theyre a virgin
(262): your sister was..
Great site http://www.textsfromlastnight.com/recent/1
Posted: Fri Sep 04, 2009 11:00 am
by G8rMom7
Kyle had poop on the mind this morning.
Great site http://www.textsfromlastnight.com/recent/1
Posted: Fri Sep 04, 2009 11:02 am
by G8RKyle
Kyle had poop on the mind this morning.
Had?