Jacksonville Jaguars Disgusted By Awful Play Of Florida And Georgia On Their Home Fie

[The Unsportsmanlike Gentleman]

Members of the Jacksonville Jaguars team and front office watched yesterday's 23-20 Georgia victory over Florida on their home field and were disgusted by the play of both teams, namely Florida. "I've never seen such an awful team play on our field before," said Jaguars General Manager David Caldwell of the Gators. "I thought they were supposed to at least have a good defense, but before you could blink, it was 20-0. Pathetic. I'm embarrassed for them."


"I don't know what was more embarrassing, Florida's play or all the unsportsmanlike conduct penalties? Both teams did a poor job of representing the city of Jacksonville. We don't need that kind of trash on our field. Today was a dark day in the history of Everbank Field and the Jaguars organization," Caldwell added.


A petition was started by Jaguars fans after the game to stop the game from being played in Jacksonville in the future. Caldwell and Jaguars owner Shahid Khan support the movement and will work feverishly to end the relationship between the schools and the city.


Khan issued a statement saying, "When you have a virus that is contagious, you must contain the host as not to start an outbreak. This is why I, and the city of Jacksonville, feel we need to end our relationship with the University of Georgia and the University of Florida as to not infect our city with their deadly disease of bad football. We ask that they quarantine themselves in their own stadiums and spare us from certain death."


Jaguars quarterback Blaine Gabbert was asked about Florida's performance, but could not formulate an answer as he stared off into the distance with his face glazed over, obviously disturbed by what he saw.


Some argue that yesterday's game was not that bad and that despite the rough first quarter by Florida, turned out to be another good, close rivalry game. Caldwell responded to these claims with, "Really? What a bunch of fucking idiots."


Notes: Brent Pease said Tyler Murphy's 83-yard completion to Quinton Dunbar was the best prank he's ever pulled. "The fans had so much hope and it was so hilarious when we came away with no points. The look on their faces was priceless. It worked flawlessly," he said...Clay Burton caught a pass. Please be sure to be at his induction into the Ring of Honor in six years...Fuck Georgia...Next week: Florida is at home versus Vanderbilt. I'm sure the stadium will be at capacity and everyone will cheer from start to finish and there won't be a single, "boo," heard and it will all be peachy.


Courtesy of The Unsportsmanlike Gentleman