Walt Gorman, general manager & editor: UF 23-13
Richard Porter, assistant editor: UF 21-20
Mitch Thompson, assistant to the assistant editor: UF 24-10
Vince Wright, staff writer: UF 31-19
Michael Monk, staff writer: UF 17-13
Pat Tomlin, staff writer: UF 28-21
Gene Fuchs, staff writer: UF 31-12
Michelle Jenkins, staff writer: UF 17-16
Bill Carlson, staff writer: UF 27-24
Peter Mitchell, contributing writer: UF 20-19
Will Britton, contributing writer: UF 21-16
Jeff Merkin, contributing writer: UF 41-30
Dan Favors, occasional writer: UF 23-12
Mike Toms, wrote a thing for us years ago: UF 14-7
Dan Whitmire, executive director & VP of fancy titles that mean nothing: UF 10-0
Kevin Wilson, creative director: UF 8-3
Mark Franklin, developer: UF 32-30
Evan Craig, developer: UF 13-6
Dominique Blackwell, developer: UF 41-10
Harris Little, developer: UF 17-3
Paul Hunter, production director: UF 14-13
Meredith Hunter, production assistant: UF 24-16
Wade Trubeck, director of engineering: UF 30-17
Karen Hall, engineer: UF 55-7
Mike Watkins, engineer: UF 21-0
Rick Waterston, consultant: UF 17-15
Matt Vogel, consultant to the stars: UF 23-7
Jennifer Hart, design: UF 35-21
Sherry Potts, design assistant: UF 42-14
Brian Valdez, photography: UF 23-21
Brett Malcolm, graphics: UF 27-20
Jeff White, audio: UF 28-13
Andy Slater, social media director: UF 6-3
Marco Fernandez, print media director: UF 38-7
Hillary Franks, marketing director: UF 17-9
Paula Wright, marketing coordinator: UF 21-17
Cheryl Brooks, marketing assistant: UGA 31-27*
Brit Carlisle, sales: UF 31-30
Frank Miller, sales: UF 24-17
Jackie Harmon, secretary: UF 28-24
Chris Giordano, senior accountant: UF 34-21
Charles Harper, accountant: UF 9-7
Sondra Johnson, accountant: UF 16-13
Tony Campbell, traffic analyst: UF 20-6
Ben Chance, statistics analyst: UF 14-0
Carol Wilson, regional crosschecker: UF 21-20
Tim Martin, regional crosschecker: UF 31-3
Betheny Tingle, intern: UF 17-10
Jill Woodrow, intern: UF 23-14
Victor Alvarez, intern: UF 30-20
Chauncey Pitts, intern: UF 27-17
Cali Scott, intern: UF 21-16
Glenn Weinstein, intern: UF 29-17
Martin Fitts, intern: UF 35-21
Blake Edwards, janitor: UF 42-12
Debbie Hunt, janitor: UF 32-3
Scott Marigold, dude that hangs out at our office: UF 52-31
Chris Roberts, pizza boy who delivers here a lot: UF 30-9
Hector Nunez, landscaper: UF 63-55
Bill Macklin, postman: UF 13-10
Calvin Martin, works in the office next to ours: UF 40-27
Braden Lane, tech support: UF 26-7
Rhonda Behr, hair & makeup: UF 24-10
Eddie Maldonado, friend: UF 56-0
Chris Harper, friend: UF 63-0
Carter Smith, friend: UF 70-0
Allen King, friend: UF 73-0
Chelsey Kane, friend: 77-0
Brittany Flowers, girlfriend: 85-0
Laura Sykes, ex-girlfriend: UGA 100,000,000,000-0**
Bob Whitlow, father: 28-7
Cheryl Whitlow, mother: 22-11
Nana Gilmartin, great grandmother & dementia patient: potato salad***
Dick Napier, neighbor: UF 14-13
John Stamos, actor: UF 35-27
Emily Stanford, my 1st grade teacher: UF 30-21
Jackson Green, man on the street: UF 19-14
Caroline Grace, my dogwalker: UF 29-6
Ernie Borchard, my barber: UF 20-17
*Cheryl was immediately fired and shot in the back as she left the building
** Fuck you, Laura. That's why nobody likes you.
***Dementia is fucking awful and is not a laughing matter
Courtesy of The Unsportsmanlike Gentleman